The Los Angeles Chargers: A Love Story Written by Lucifer Himself

By Christopher Moore (A Concerned Friend)

Let’s talk about Chris and Richie.

Two good men. Hardworking. Loyal. Intelligent.
And yet… every fall they crawl back to her.
The Chargers.

You’d think by now they’d have learned —
but no.
Every damn year they show up like it’s a fresh start, like she’s changed.
“She’s got a new quarterback this time!”
“She swears she’s going all the way!”
“She says this time she won’t break my heart in January!”

And every time… she does.

A Brief History of Hope, Hype, and Heartbreak

1960s

The Chargers were born looking like a contender.
Made five AFL championship games in six years —
won one.
That’s 1-for-5, folks.
That’s the NFL equivalent of getting to third base five times and still leaving the bar alone.

The “Air Coryell” Era (1979–1981)

This team was so damn fun it should’ve come with a parental advisory sticker.
Dan Fouts slinging lasers.
Kellen Winslow redefining “tight end.”
Charlie Joiner catching everything except a Super Bowl invite.

Two AFC Championship appearances.
Two L’s.
Turns out, high-flying offense doesn’t mean squat when your defense is Swiss cheese with CTE.

1994: The Mirage Bowl

Their one Super Bowl trip. ONE.
Junior Seau led a team of underdogs to the promised land…

…where they were ritually sacrificed by Steve Young and the 49ers.
49-26. It wasn’t football. It was a televised execution.
San Diego celebrated the AFC title like it was a ring.
That’s like bragging about getting engaged to someone who ghosts you at the altar.

2006: The Greatest Team That Couldn’t

14-2. MVP LaDainian Tomlinson.
Philip Rivers slinging. Antonio Gates climbing ladders.
That team was stacked.

They had the 1 seed, home field advantage, and swagger…

…and still lost to Tom Brady and the Patriots because of some combo of dropped picks, missed kicks, and bad voodoo from the football gods.

Marty Schottenheimer was fired after that season —
because apparently 14 wins wasn’t good enough if you don’t also deliver a Super Bowl and a unicorn.

2007–2009: So Much Talent. So Little Trophy.

These teams had it all:

Philip Rivers, throwing dimes and tantrums.

LT, still magic.

Vincent Jackson, before he disappeared.

Antonio Gates, breaking records.

A defense full of dogs.


And every year, they’d get right to the edge…
then trip over their own shoelaces like a kid in church shoes.

Lost to the Pats again.
Lost to the Jets with Mark Sanchez.
Lost to themselves more than anything.

2018: “We Back!” (They Were Not Back.)

12-4. Balanced roster. Looked scary.
Made it to the Divisional Round…

…where Bill Belichick treated them like a Pop Warner team in his backyard.
They got smoked 41-28 — and it wasn’t that close.

2023: The Historic Collapse

Richie guaranteed Justim Herbert would win the MVP this season. Richie was wrong.

Chargers up 27-0 on the Jaguars.
Dominated turnovers 5-0.

LOST.

Blew the third-largest lead in playoff history.
Let Trevor Lawrence do a Disney Channel comeback arc on national TV.
Brandon Staley looked like a man googling “clock management for dummies” on the sideline.

You could hear Richie whisper, “Maybe next year…” as his soul left his body.

So Why Do Chris and Richie Stay?

They say love is blind.
In this case, it’s also deaf, dumb, and on pain meds.

Every season is the same:

🧠 Logic: This franchise is cursed.
❤️ Heart: But Justin Herbert’s got weapons, man.
👻 Spirit: Abandon hope, all ye who bolt up.

It’s not a football team. It’s an emotionally abusive situationship.
And every year, Chris and Richie go full Stockholm Syndrome.

Closing Thoughts

Dear Chargers fans:

If history teaches us anything, it’s that you are not the main character in the NFL script.
You’re the subplot.
The punchline.
The cautionary tale told in memes and barstool arguments.

But hey — loyalty is rare these days.
And if nothing else, Chris and Richie have that.

Just like the Chargers have playoff exits.

Here’s to this year. And the next heartbreak.
🫡⚡💔

-The Gun Loving Hippie Dad … Who Fixes Stuff

Rants, repairs, and realness