By Christopher Moore
I’ve never trusted ass kissers.
You can spot them easy. Their neck is permanently bent at a 47 degree angle and their entire personality smells like shoe polish.
Same goes for professional flag wavers and proud team players. The ones who wear their loyalty like a Walmart name tag they forgot to take off. They don’t believe in anything. They believe in belonging. There’s a difference. One requires thought. The other just requires a uniform and a willingness to nod on command.
I’ve always liked the ones who don’t fit right. The ones who ask uncomfortable questions at comfortable moments. The ones who make management nervous without saying a word. Individualists. The human equivalent of a loose bolt rattling around inside a sealed machine. Annoying to the system. Critical to finding what’s broken.
Sooner or later, some supervisor, politician, or motivational poster is going to hit you with that tired line
“There is no I in team.”
And you should look them dead in the eye and say
You’re right.
That’s exactly why teams get away with so much stupid shit.
There is an I in independence.
There is an I in individuality.
There is an I in integrity.
And funny enough, none of those things require permission.
Anytime a group needs a name, it’s already suspect.
“We’re the So and Sos.”
Oh yeah? Congratulations on your shared identity and synchronized thinking. Do you get jackets too, or just matching opinions?
Groups don’t exist to protect you. They exist to protect themselves. They sand down your edges. They reward obedience. They promote the people most willing to trade honesty for approval and call it leadership.
If you absolutely have to join one, fine. Pay your dues. Smile for the photo. But never hand them your mind. Never let them convince you that agreement equals virtue.
Because the moment your survival depends on belonging, your integrity becomes negotiable.
And when they inevitably tell you
“You’re not a team player.”
Don’t argue.
Don’t defend yourself.
Thank them.
It means you still have a spine.
-The Gun Loving Hippie Dad … Who Fixes Stuff
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