Entry Three: What Absolutely Does Not Work

A Men’s Mental Health Series — by Christopher Moore

In the last entry, I talked about identifying and uninstalling irrational fear from your brain’s hard drive.
But this one right here?
This probably should’ve been Entry One—because it’s Step One.

Let’s make one thing clear first:
There is no “one size fits all” fix for the war in your head. Anyone who tells you different is either full of shit, trying to sell you something, or both.

Different men need different tools.
Some thrive in therapy.
Some heal through prayer.
Some sweat it out at the gym.
Others journal, meditate, hit the heavy bag, or build things with their hands until they remember what peace feels like.

That’s all good. Personalize your healing.
But some things just do not work—for anyone.
Not long-term. Not sustainably. Not without destroying something along the way.

Let’s talk about that.
Let’s talk about the shit we do that feels like coping, but is actually slow-motion self-destruction.

Substance Abuse

You already know this.
You don’t need me to preach.
But here’s the real talk:

That bottle? That pill? That powder? That hit?
It doesn’t fix anything.

It delays the pain. Masks it.
Sometimes numbs it so well you forget it exists… until it all comes flooding back, stronger and meaner.
Then you do it again. And again. And before you know it, you’re not escaping anymore—you’re enslaved.

You’re duct-taping a bullet wound and calling it surgery.

And I’m not throwing stones—I’ve been there.
But you can’t build a better life on a foundation that leaks poison.

Shutting Down & Shutting Up

Men are world-class at going silent when we’re hurting.
We lock it down, bottle it up, slap on the “I’m fine” face, and go back to work.

That’s what we were taught, right?
“Suck it up.”
“Be a man.”
“Don’t be weak.”

But here’s the truth:

Silence will kill you.
Slowly. Quietly. With a smile.

It starts with sleepless nights.
Then it bleeds into your relationships, your health, your joy.
Then one day you’re snapping at your kids, resenting your partner, staring at the wall wondering how you became a stranger in your own damn life.

You can’t heal what you won’t acknowledge.
You can’t release what you won’t say out loud.
And nobody—not your wife, your kids, your buddies—can read your damn mind.

Rage as a Primary Emotion

Anger is easy.
Anger feels powerful.
But for a lot of men? It’s not the real emotion—it’s just the only one we’re allowed to show.

We don’t say we’re hurt.
We don’t say we’re scared.
We sure as hell don’t say we feel like failures.

So we blow up.
Punch walls.
Yell at people we love.
And call it “venting.”

But rage isn’t release. It’s a mask.
And the longer you wear it, the harder it is to take off.

Distraction as a Lifestyle

This one’s sneaky.
Not all distractions are bad—hell, sometimes we need them.
But when your entire life becomes a series of distractions from what’s going on inside you?
That’s avoidance dressed up as productivity.

Working 60 hours a week.
Scrolling for hours.
Gaming, gambling, shopping, porn, projects, side hustles—whatever it is you use to never sit alone with your thoughts…

It’s not healing.
It’s hiding.

Final Thought

Not every path to peace looks the same.
But there are a few roads that only go one direction—and that’s down.

Substance abuse.
Isolation.
Unchecked rage.
Endless avoidance.

If you’re stuck in one of those loops, you’re not broken—you’re just trying to survive using the only tools you know.
But now it’s time to upgrade the toolbox.

You don’t have to talk to a therapist today.
But talk to someone.
A brother. A friend. Your wife.
Hell, talk to your dog. Or the ceiling. Or the void.

Just stop lying to yourself that staying quiet or getting drunk is the “strong” way.
Because strength isn’t about silence.
It’s about doing what’s hard—especially when it’s uncomfortable.

And here’s the hard truth:
To heal, you’re gonna have to fight someone who knows all your weaknesses, all your blind spots, all your pressure points.
That someone is you.

And he doesn’t fight fair.
He knows where to hit.
He’s already inside the wire.

So you better come armed.
With honesty. With intention.
With every last bit of strength, intelligence, and grit you’ve got.

If you half-ass it, you’re gonna get your ass whooped.
But if you show up and go to war?
You just might win.

The good news is, he’s fucking terrified of you and knows that dumbing you down is his only chance.

Take that away first.

-The Gun Loving Hippie Dad … Who Fixes Stuff

Entry Four

Rants, repairs, and realness